Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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