there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
