So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize