Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
