We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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