all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
