so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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