your thong is hanging out like whoa
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I forget how to act sober
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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