Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
