i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have tasted many bathrooms
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
