im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Rumble strips road head = magical
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
