Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
