Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
