Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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