I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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