No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My dick has a subreddit
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
