Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
