Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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