Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
