It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
