My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
