Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
