Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
