I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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