please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
