I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
