When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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