did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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