I forgot how hot balto sounded
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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