We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
