chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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