I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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