i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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