You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
