I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
