I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love having hate sex.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
