yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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