he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
