quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think your dad took our porno
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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