He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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