Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
