she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
