So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They have beer where we have blood.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
