i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
