You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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