i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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