Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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