we have officially lost it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
