I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
