So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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