This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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